


Human Courting Rituals

by Makigaki



Category: Star Trek
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Poetry, Rhyming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-28 13:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16723893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makigaki/pseuds/Makigaki
Summary: Spock looks into Human courting rituals because he's sweet on Jim.





	Human Courting Rituals

**Author's Note:**

> I warn you, if rhyming poetry or mushy Spirk triggers you, then turn back now ;)
> 
> On that note, please actually check the appropriate tags, warnings, categories, and the summary for any content you don't wish to see. Enjoy!

Spock, however disinclined to admit it, was a bit _clueless_ about Human traditions in general, and was especially oblivious to the so-called act of 'wooing' a member of the species. Unfortunately, he was, indeed, romantically fascinated by a member of the aforementioned species. His Captain, James T. 'Jim' Kirk., was the victim of his affections. Spock, in crudely simple terms, was eager to 'woo' him. Upon reluctant recognition in regards to his lack of knowledge about romantic... strategies, Spock arranged to commence a thorough study of the history and customs native to Human romance. An enlightening study indeed.

It appeared that materialistic comparatives and emotion in poetry was considered and generally accepted as a sufficient manner in which to depict interest by way of limn. Spock wasn't sure he was entirely compatible with such a show of affection, but he decided to try out the option as an experiment and to perhaps meagerly indulge his own Human self. A, as some would say, 'win-win'. On paper in pen or pencil and placed in a sealed envelope would probably be best received by Jim as he was most fond of the old way of communication. Now, Spock only needed to endeavor to correctly (and neatly) form his cursive 'r's.

 

*******

 

"Ji-Captain, please take this note and read it, preferably in a more solitary setting." Spock illogically felt as though his guts had turned themselves into a rather complicated Eldridge knot. It was most uncomfortable, especially coupled with his seemingly dry mouth. Jim nodded, confused, but acting out of respect and trust.

"Will do, thank you Mr. Spock." Spock relaxed, eased by Jim's unwavering faith.

"Indeed, Captain." With that, Spock dismissed himself from the Bridge to attend to his other scientific research. As he disappeared into the turbolift, McCoy, who had witnessed the interaction, muttered out a long-suffering,

 " _Akward_."

Jim could hardly disagree. 

 

**_***_ **

 

Jim was temporarily using Sick-Bay as a stake-out, where he was supposed to be brainstorming (but mostly he just panicked) about the letter's contents with his dear friend, Bones.

"What if it's a notice of his resignment? He's the best First Officer I've ever had! What would I do without him?"

"...Jim, he's the only First Officer you've ever had."

"Goodness! Bones, what if he secretly hates me and is filing a complaint? OH, OH!" at this point, Jim began to whisper, "Maybe he's found out about how I feel and is telling me to 'cease such an illogical emotion' toward him! Oh Bones, the horror!"

McCoy (or as we now know him—Bones), only rolled his eyes and demanded that Jim just open the stupid letter and find out.  

Jim, with much trepidation, obeyed, opening the envelope, and, paper in hand, read to himself. 

 

_Dear James T. Kirk,_

_If I were not Vulcan and instead illogical,_

_I would compare you to a warm summer's day,_

_Of course, this is entirely hypothetical,_

_For summer on Vulcan is not a pleasant stay._

_I would think of you as a violet among grass,_

_Vibrant and noticeable and one of a kind,_

_Gold, copper, and silver with no room for brass,_

_Completely natural, straight from a mine._

_Yet I am a Vulcan and therefore logical,_

_And so I do not spew mindless trivia,_

_But one thing is factual,_

_You are my t'hy'la._

_...Illogically Yours_

_—XO Spock_

 

Jim decided it was about time he and Spock talked about their _requited_ mushy feelings for each other, and rushedly dashed out of Sick-Bay. Bones could pick up the poetry off the floor and figure it out for himself.

 

*******

 

"Dey're so _gross_. I svear, all dey do eez smile stupidly and lock feengers. De Keptin and his XO—domesteec! Really, I'm glad dey're togefer, all zat _pining_  was, vwas– vell it vasn't inwented een Russia!"

"I just cannae believe they finally got their act togethar. I thought we 'ere goingna hefta deal with their ignorance forever!"

"Quite. Another round of drinks, gentlemen?"

"Ye make us sound so silly, what with yer total calm! Don't ye fret any at all?"

"Not in this particular situation. I recall being quite the same with–"

"Oh! Ve don't vanna hear about eet, dank you wery much!"

 

 


End file.
